Like any uncharted territory I must be greatly intriguing.
But you? You’re not allowed. You’re uninvited
An unfortunate slight.
Love this mix of this song. I have a habit of banging it on repeat and singing along (pity my neighbours!) whenever someone’s goaded me, wound me up, annoyed me, pissed me off; anything like that. See, I’m normally the politest, most tolerant person you could ever meet. I’ll talk to anybody (I’m that guy who strikes up conversations at bus stops) and it takes one helluva lot to force me to the point of letting off steam in any way.
(Scroll down. There’s fashion stuff in a minute. I just need to get something off my chest here…)
One surefire, guaranteed way to do that is to be pushy, and that’s one reason why I have so few people on my Contacts list in SL. For many years, the only others on my list were trusted friends I’ve known for years, and recently I’ve added a couple of creators to that number. Very, very occasionally I’ll add someone I’ve spoken to a few times, but in all honesty I don’t actually like adding people to my list. If I add you and you never contact me again, then after a couple of months you go off the damn list. Why the hell add me if you don’t intend on speaking to me now and then? Not keen on ‘friend collectors’, darlin’.
(Incidentally, if you’ve been added to my list and you’re wondering, “Shit, is he talking about me?” then a clue is if I’ve ever instigated an IM conversation with you. If I have, then I’m happy to have you on my list. Also, if I don’t instigate an IM conversation, but you can see that I’m enjoying the conversations that you instigate [and honestly you’ll know if I’m enjoying the chat, because if I’m forcing it then you can see I’m actually making a real effort to be part of the conversation, rather than it flowing naturally] then I’m also happy to have you on my list.)
The other kind of addition is worse, for me, and it’s my damnable English politeness that makes it so fucking hard for me to say, “Sorry, no,” when I get a friendship offer. That addition is the kind that pushes. And I don’t mean the kind that sends occasional IMs. I mean the kind that:
- IMs you the very second you log in, before the login progress bar has finished moving across and you’ve even bloody rezzed (they want your attention NOW)
- Logs on, IMs you immediately, then logs off again when they get your autoresponse (they only log on because they want your attention; if you can’t/don’t give it, they log off)
- Constantly asks you what you’re doing, then when you ask them why they want to know they say, “I’m bored.” (they want you to entertain them)
Seriously? That last one actually happened to me with someone recently, and more than once. You’re bored, so you’re asking what I’m doing, because… you hope it’s something I can stop doing so I can un-bore you? What the fuck does that make me, to you?
I AM NOT A FUCKING TRICK PONY WHOSE SOLE PURPOSE WHEN LOGGED INTO SL IS TO ENTERTAIN YOU. GO ENTERTAIN YOUR-FUCKING-SELF.
Booted and muted. Because that wasn’t the first time this person had been pushy and demanding like that. And yes, I know this rant didn’t deserve to be put into a fashion post, but this look was put together while I had this song on repeat, and that kind of behaviour is most definitely uninvited.
What’s also uninvited? The intimation by a certain ‘macho’ section of SL that femme boys (and occasional femme boys like me) aren’t worthy of the descriptor ‘male’. Stop sucking your own dicks, ladies, and go tell it to the flowers. Y’know what? We don’t give a flying fuck what you think of us, because we’re the ones flying the creative flag, we’re the ones pushing boundaries, and we’re the ones with the BALLS around here. You? You just amble around in your massive muscles and boring denims and split-open shirts and look down your over-tanned noses at the guys who are having real fun with fashion. You wouldn’t have the balls to try anything different. Too. fucking. scared. No homo! No homo! God, get a fucking grip, girls.
Have a pretty, pretty boy, my sartorial darlings. He doesn’t care what you think; he’s just flying his beautiful freak flag :-)
Like anyone would be, I am flattered by your fascination with me…
I’ve had my say and I’ll say no more. Credits are at the end of the post. Enjoy the song; it’s great for sticking the metaphorical finger to arseholes. Pun totally intended ;-)
“This is not allowed”? You’re uninvited. An unfortunate slight.
Credits
Jacket: A:S:S – Idol Jacket (white) [ photos.nikolaidis ]
Pants: Gizza – Vintage Jeans (ornamental silver) [ giz.seorn ]
Boots: Razor – Dread Boots (bleach) [ kehl.razor ]
From the Final Fantasy Festival
Necklace: Ellabella – Ensorcelled Necklace (lavish) [ ellantha.larsson ]
From the Final Fantasy Festival
Ring: Maxi Gossamer – Royal Khadijah Estate [ maxi.gossamer ]
Hair: Exile – Far Behind (frost) [ kavar.cleanslate ]
Eyes: IKON – Lucid Eyes (gray) [ ikon.innovia ]
Skin: Swallow – Manu (ivory) [ luciayes.magic ]
From the Mens Dept February collection
Hands: Slink – AvEnhance Male Hands (relax) [ siddean.munro ]
Nails: A:S:S – Slink Appliers (dragon scales) [ photos.nikolaidis ]
Makeup
Down nose – Pin Me Down – Bane [ shyntae.demonista ]
Base layer – A:S:S – Glam Rock Glitter (silver) [ photos.nikolaidis ]
Top layer – A:S:S – Hydra Makeup (black) [ photos.nikolaidis ]
Forehead – The Plastik – Soul Ink Reloaded (Ege) [ aikea.rieko ]
Poses
Purple Poses [ audrey.guter ]
AKEYO (from my AO) [ artoo.magneto ]
The Muse Poses [ audrey.cresci ]
Petit Pont [ hironey.fairey ]
CheerNo Motion [ sinystra ]
UGH. I am so with you on the “I’m bored” bullshit (well, I’m with on all of it, but that one especially). You know it’s really bad when they don’t even ask what you’re doing, they just start with “I’m bored”. *stabbity*
Also, can I just say – I love your beautiful freak flag <3
I’m too nice for my own good, because I stuck this one out for almost three weeks. In all fairness, this person was the first truly pushy contact I’ve encountered, but that’s mainly because I kept my list so restricted in the first place! Lesson learned.
And thank you! :-)
Oh darlin’, I feel your pain there. I really do. As for the “Femme boy” problem; I’ve actually discovered that 95% of the “muscle men” that bitch about slimmer, smaller, prettier male types in SL are actually RL women (Not transmales, not androgynes, agenders, genderqueers, or anything like that but -only- cisfemales). I’m not entirely sure -why- this is, but my theory is that they feel uncomfortable around bishonen/femme boys as they feel they have to overcompensate for their RL femininity, while men who are in a sense beautiful challenge not only their concept of masculinity but also make them feel inferior regarding their own beauty.
That age old “Sweetheart, they pick on you because they’re jealous.” addage we’ve all heard at least once or twice back in our school days.
Not to say this is the sole type of personality or person that picks on femme boys, but I’m not joking when I say that about 95% of the men that’ve reacted negatively to either myself or a close friend who is (imho) something of the “ultimate androgyne” in SL, have been RL women.
(Please understand, I don’t -care- what’s behind the keyboard and have nothing against RL women. I just thought this was an odd point worth mentioning as it’s something I’ve noticed over the years. This is not a call to arms and it is definitely not meant to be insulting to anyone.)
(Perfectly understood, re: your last point.)
I can’t say I’ve noticed a correlation between RL gender and SL arsehole-ishness, primarily because I guess I’m something of an immersionist in SL, in that I’m not at all interested in hearing what I term ‘RL identifiable details’ (age, gender, etc) so I rather go out of my way to avoid that, and I feel very uncomfortable when people begin to overshare RL info with me. The ‘Facebook Generation’ in SL is one that I run a mile from. Sure, upload your RL photo to your profile, but don’t expect me to think of you (generic ‘you’) as looking like that; I think of you as looking like your avatar.
Like you, I take everyone at face value inworld. If they present as male, then they’re male. If they present as female, they’re female. Everything else is, well, everything else, as they want to be. SL is the one place that I know of where people can be what they truly feel they are, regardless of what RL thinks of that notion. They can be someone (or something) they wish they were – be it wish-fulfilment or simple play – or they can finally throw off the constraints of RL and live their true inner life.
What I simply don’t understand is the desperate desire to shape others into a so-called ‘normal’ image inworld. Sure, we’ve all side-eyed those avatars with the extreme shapes and thought, “What the hell do you look like, darlin’?!” but there’s no goddamn way we’d go up to that person and tell them they look ‘wrong’. I’ve had people asking me, “Why can’t you be normal?” Whose definition of normal is that? Theirs doesn’t overrule mine. We have an equal right to our own imaginations (or lack thereof, but oops, my bitch is showin’ there…).
As for the outright attacks (many in the genderfluid* sphere will recall a certain huge ball of ego ripping into one particular fellow genderfluid a couple of years ago; public attacks on blogs and in a very large hunt group) that is something that’s simply beyond me. All I can put it down to is massive insecurity on the part of people like that, and an obsessive need to control everything around them so that nothing unexpected can upset their perfect little applecart.
[ *There are so many terms these days; I find this one covers a great many of them without (hopefully) being insulting to any. I use it to denote any person who doesn’t identify as fully-cis, and it includes everyone from trans* to the questioning who simply feel more comfortable in a different avatar shape than that of their RL biological sex. ]
You make a good point regarding the “Facebook Generation”. I will state that my knowledge of these other folks as cisfemales in RL is strictly due to the peculiar habit a number of folks have of “oversharing” in SL.
I will never understand why this is done. I’ve been in SL for 7 years. I’m here for the immersion, to indulge myself in my own creativity, and to create content for those around me. I have never asked for such details of another person and very rarely felt the need to share my own RL information in any depth or extent. ..
Yet it’s always amazed me how many people out there are all too ready to regale everyone with tales of their RL in intimate detail, whether or not you have ‘I don’t want to hear about your RL’ in their profiles… (I’ve put that in my profile on and off over the years, it’s never worked -.-). I understand that we live in a day and age where people are used to spilling their secrets online thanks to Facebook, Myspace, G+, and all the rest… but in my opinion that’s something that doesn’t need to be shared in Second Life.
I, personally, tend to avoid people with tons of RL information in their profiles (photos, long rambling diatribes on their daily lives, etc), yet I’ve learned that even folks that don’t include a thing about their RL in their profile are often prone to jawjacking to whomever shows the vaguest interest in them about everything from their gender to their age to how painful/beautiful/gory their last childbirth was.. And yes, sadly, the latter has happened to me a couple times which is why I carry a crucifix and can of pepper spray these days when meeting new people @_@