Dear Diary: Crappity arsebuckets

May 25th 2013

Dear Diary,

I know I’ve neglected you for, well, all year. There was that vaguely hungover entry made on January 1st, wherein I promised (yeah, yeah) to keep up with a diary this year. I even wrote another entry on January 2nd. Then there was that long, whinging entry on January 3rd about not wanting to go back to work after the Christmas break, but after that you and I parted ways and somehow you found your way under the bed (do I even want to know what you were doing under there?)

Anyway, here’s What I Did Today, by Skell Dagger, aged five years and 11 months:

Today was a crappity arsebuckets day. Nothing went right. Purchases = L$3146 (yikes!) and could I put together one fucking outfit from that? Nope. The fashion gods baulked at my every attempt. Individually, it was all completely fabulous stuff. A quick jaunt around the Genre event (current theme = aliens) landed me seven pairs of boots, one pair of earrings, and a necklace. Oh, and some lamps, although god alone knows where I’ll find room to rez those (Skell Dagger: over-decoration a speciality). I guess the lack of anything resembling actual clothing didn’t help much with the general outfit-making, but it was one of those days when nothing worked, and Skell wailed that pathetic cry of pre-party-goers everywhere: “I have an 85k+ inventory; how can I have nothing to wear?!”

Tacked onto the crappity arsebuckets mood, I have a complaint. (Yes, Skell is bitching. Deal.) Whyohwhyohwhy do creators put ‘rigged mesh’ on their ads, and then sneak in an unrigged mesh version as well? I hate to think how many fabulous pairs of female footwear I’ve passed up on, because I’ve seen ‘rigged mesh’ on the ad and assumed there’s no way they’d fit my (size zero, but still clodhopperish, because I’m a bloke, dammit) feet. Today’s seven pairs were all female boots, in three styles. Only one of them stated on the ad that they included unrigged versions, but I picked up demos of the others, just in case.

Sure enough, they contained unrigged versions, but – being demos – those… were no-modify. Not even a resize HUD! How in crap’s name am I supposed to see how they fit if I can’t resize them? You give me unrigged, but they’re the same size as the teeny-toed rigged versions! AUUUGGHH!

I took a risk, and it was worth it in the end, but if there’s one thing that’s increasingly beginning to bug me (other than the usual stuff that bugs everyone in SL) it’s that. Those. Whatever!

So, having failed miserably at fashion, Skell turned his creative talents to building. With Daft Punk’s latest blasting out (on repeat for five days now; we won’t mention what the neighbours think of me, now will we, Diary?) he decided to try his hand at building something in black and gold, inspired by said musical masterpiece.

Two hours later, and no matter which way he tilted his head, it looked… doubleplusungood. Daft Punk? Daft ha’porth, more like.

I’m going to close, dear Diary, by flashing my arse at you. Well, by flashing Fruk’s idea of my arse at you. I had begun to despair of ever seeing mesh pants of as high-quality as I see in womenswear, but without the saggy, “I just crapped myself” look. If that’s your thing, well fine and dandy, but it ain’t mine. I like a firm butt, thankyouverymuch, and thank fruk someone out there gets it.

So here. Happy-arse Skell ;-)